BO JACKSON'S 2009 REMARKS

Who was Parker Jackson?

On November 7, 2006 Lauren called me and told me our son Parker was 1 hour late to see his girlfriend. Neither of us could get him to answer his phone. Lauren sensed trouble and called 911 and asked if there were any car accidents in our area. The police confirmed a car accident on Providence Road right around the corner from here. I jumped in my car and began driving down Providence Road redialing Parker’s phone over and over with no answer and saying to myself, “Parker be safe be strong, be safe be strong.” I drove almost to the end of the road, and I started to be relieved and let out a deep breath … whew no accidents; we are ok. But as I came over the last hill at the end of the road, my heart started racing faster because all I could see was blue lights and red lights from all the police cars and fire trucks everywhere … it looked like a Hollywood disaster scene. A police officer ordered me to stay in my car. I got out anyway telling him, “That’s my son’s car!” I ran to the car which was crushed against a tree to get Parks but he was gone! “Where is my son … where is he?” I yelled. The officer than said the words that will ring in my head forever … “Sir, your son is dead.” The next thing I knew I was knocked to the ground by what felt like a lightning bolt driven through my heart. Our 16 year old son Parker was gone … He did nothing wrong. He was wearing his seat belt, going the proper speed and not talking on his phone … It was an accident … but for Parker the game of life was over.

Unfortunately Parker’s life is over. But, fortunately, your life is not. So the question is, “What are you going to do with your life?” Here’ what I think Parker would want you to do…it’s the same as the most valuable lesson his amazing life has taught me. And that is…

Be a difference maker with the life we are given.

Parker was a natural at connecting and influencing all kinds of different people.

The summer before PJ died (Oh yeah, PJ and Parks are a couple of his nick names) any way I took him to a lacrosse camp in Charlotte; he had insisted on going to without any of his friends so he could meet new people. We were standing in line for registration for dorm room assignments, and I asked him, “So do you see anybody in line that looks like a fun roommate?” Parks, always Mr. Under Armor, the look guy, looks around and spots this skate board looking dude with the spiked hair, Bill-a-Bong clothes, and earphones jamming to his own tunes. The only thing missing was his skate board! “I hope it is that guy”, he said and pointed to The Board Dude. Sure enough, not by request but coincidence, they were roommates and when I picked him up at the end of camp, they had plotted all kinds of ski trips together at their favorite Colorado ski resorts.

It was at that same camp Parker made a ton of friends with the Greenville High School team from Greenville SC. Parker got invited to be a guest player on their fall travel team. Of course then Parks had to include some of his buddies; K Reed, Jared, and Ben to play on the team. Parker had made such solid friendships in that short period of time with the Greenville players that when he died that fall the entire Greenville lax team, dressed in coat and ties drove down to attend his celebration service.

The players from Milton are familiar with The Parker Jackson Memorial Scholarship. It is a scholarship established by the Milton Lacrosse Booster Club after Parker died. Each year $1,000 is awarded to a Milton senior student athlete from the girls’ and boys’ lacrosse programs. I want to share the 5 criteria the boosters and the teachers use to select the winners so you can get to know Parks a bit better.

Here they are …

1. Work Ethic – Gets more out of their abilities than anyone else.
2. Attitude – Classmates/teammates look up to them because of their attitude and leadership.
3. Inclusiveness – Through personal involvement and trust … they inspire people around them to perform at a higher level.
4. Accountability – Considers the consequences of their decisions on family, school, sports, and community.
5. Considerate/Fun – Gives of themselves and their talents off the field and outside the classroom. Knows how to have fun and can make other people around them laugh.

How did PJ make such an impact on our lives?

On the surface everyone saw him as a “great kid”, but for those of us who knew his heart, we knew him as so much more. In our family and to his friends, Parks was the spark. He was the energy, passion and life. He had that quick sense of humor, incredible smile, and genuine heart that made each of us better.

Parker was a gift from God, just as each of you are. He had a strong faith, and he was bold about sharing his inner strength. In our faith we do a video when we get baptized at our church ... Parker took this big step a year before he died. Let’s see what he has to say about this experience.

Parks was so comfortable in reaching out to include and impact other people, because he was using his God-given gifts and talents of a sense of compassion and extreme competitive drive to connect with people.

Here are just 2 small examples of how Parks did his thing of changing lives.

• In middle school a new guy moved into town so Parks, who never met a stranger, decided to reach out to him and include him. And sure enough that new kid becomes his best friend, Dylan.
• Or when this really smoking-hot new girl in his freshman year shows up, he worked his butt off to win her over as his girlfriend and that’s exactly what happened with Diana.

Parker knew how to be “A Difference Maker” in other peoples’ lives.

You may be asking … so why is this important?

Well, think about your own life for a second…Somebody, somewhere along the way has probably come along side you and made a difference in your life … right?

• It could be one of the coaches in this room who has invested in you individually outside of the team practices and training sessions. Your coaches have likely spent many hours working with you to develop a particular skill or perhaps in a recruiting discussion; offering advice on where to look and how to get noticed. I know for Parker it was Coach Beach who made that personal investment.
• Maybe it’s a teacher who every day brought passion about their subject that in turn inspired your intellectual growth.
• Perhaps it was one of your parents or another adult who knew how to share wisdom at the right time that encouraged you.
• Or a best friend you could trust with your deepest secrets that helped you through a couple tough situations.

So how do we become a “Difference Maker”? – It is simple … just not easy

It means living for something bigger than just us.

It is being self confident enough to be selfless… not selfish.

Did you get that? … It means being selfless not selfish.

Parker did this well for such a young man. That’s why we miss him so much.

Kyle Harrison is an awesome example of how to be a difference maker.

• Kyle could be another high profile athlete looking for the next offer from the sports world. But instead, he uses his passion for lacrosse and heart for kids to challenge them to step up to a higher performance level in sport and in life. He travels to inner cities to introduce the game to underprivileged children who otherwise would not even know the sport. At the other end of the spectrum … is Milton High School … Kyle has kind of adopted our lacrosse program by coming here several times for both the Cup and last November he conducted an all day clinic to help develop all the boys and girls teams.

Ok, here’s what I want you to do

We are going to pass around the Name Cards to you.

I want you to think of two people …

The first person is somebody who has already made a difference in your life.

• Could be a coach or teacher, maybe a parent, another student or an athlete who made a positive impact upon you?

The second person is somebody you will pick to positively influence before the end of this school year.

• Maybe it’s a under classman on JV or freshman you will mentor by sharing some lax skills or real life lessons that you have learned.
• It could be you include a less popular person to hang with you.
• Perhaps you need to apologize to somebody for the way you treated them.
• Or it might be a consistent word of encouragement to a person you know is going through a rough time and your concern could make the difference.

Write their names down on your card. For the person who has made a difference in your life write down when you will send them a handwritten note (not a text or email) of appreciation telling them what they did for you. Next to the one you will influence, write what you will do and when. This step is as important as identifying who, because writing a goal down has an 80% chance of happening… on the other hand an unwritten goal has about 0% chance of happening.

Just take a moment or two and relax and think of who these people are for you.

Here’s a tip from Kyle that can help you … Display your Name Card on your bathroom mirror to remind you each morning to seize opportunities where you can be a “Difference Maker.”

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So here’s my challenge to you…

I encourage you to live larger than just for yourself. Step up today … Thank that somebody who influenced you and pick somebody you will impact with your life.

Be a Difference Maker with the life you are given… and when you do…

You will “Live a Legacy.”